i think my tv is drunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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