She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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