What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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