I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
