i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
