Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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