Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
