i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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