Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
