Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
