Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
