I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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