to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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