I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
