how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
