oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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