Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No more Irish car bombs ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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