i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need water and some morals
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
