if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
