If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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