The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
