I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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