MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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