I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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