when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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