I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The power of my boobs compel you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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