I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
