I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
