I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
