Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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