the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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