I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
