I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
