It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
