and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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