I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
