There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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