nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
