I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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