Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
