Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
