We're like a lot better than the average bears
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
