Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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