you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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