I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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