Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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