she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You're a waste of cheezeits
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
