it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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