I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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