ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
