Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I need a beard to bite.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
