so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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